Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It Was Sooooo Embarassing!!

Dear Sister,

Oh how you owe me!!! I hadn't told you about how badly our father embarrassed me a couple of weeks ago. Truth be told, I just wanted to forget all about it, but then today happened. I quickly remembered the other incident and decided that it had to be blogged. I truly want to know if you can top either of these episodes.

The first incident happened when dad and I went to the Olive Garden. After standing beside the table for 5 minutes (like he always does) and declaring in his lovely loud voice that he needed a minute to unlock his knees before we could exit the restaurant, I told him that I was going to use the restroom on the way out. When I came back out, he was standing in the lobby by the hostess. As I approached, he said, "Well, here comes my other-half." I can guarantee you it wasn't quiet. I can guarantee you that the look on my face must have been pretty funny because the hostess simply winked at me. There were several people standing around and I had to resist the urge to clear up any misconception. Being dad's 'other-half' is wrong on so many levels, but I quickly discerned that I would probably not see any of those people ever again and I let it go.

Today I had to take our dad to the grocery store. You know, the one he insists on driving all the way to. First of all, he drove, which is another story all in itself, but we managed to get there in one piece. By the way, I drove home. Anyway, we were in the detergent aisle. He asked me in a voice that was just short of being megaphone volume:

"Do you know anything about this new Shout bleach alternative? I have a coupon for it. I'm getting a little bit disgusted with Clorox. It just doesn't seem to be getting the stains out of my underwear." TMI!! Oh my goodness!! Does the entire grocery store need to know about that? Did I need to know about that?

So, sister dear, can you top either one of those? Where were you when I needed you? Starbucks wasn't nearly enough. I thought about stopping off at a bar. Until I remembered that I don't really drink. Oh well.


Adams family said...

HAHA!! Sorry :)

Jon said...

Um. Gross.

Vicki said...

Okay, so I'm trying to read your blog to Jason & Holly last night and the tears are literally rolling down my face. I could barely get the words out through the uncontrollable giggling! You told me the Olive Garden story, and I'm not surprised by the "grocery store from the land of Far, Far Away" story. I was on the phone with dad the other day discussing bleach (why?) when he mentioned the stains in the underwear thing. Say what? Did I just hear what I think I did? I just ignored it and moved to another subject. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, but SOOOO glad I wasn't!!! I owe you a Venti Starbucks with extra caffeine!

J@net said...

my parents totally embarrass me ALL THE TIME, but that, that was good!

My dad had surgery to remove cancer from his kidney, they wheel him into the recovery room, he is a little out of it still and the nurse comes in and asks him HOW he was doing and he replies "I had a sex change, how does it look" OMG i wanted to die right there. luckily he didn't try and pull up his robe at the same time.

Dena said...

um, i'm really not looking forward to the aging of my parents. um, now sort of glad that i live far away. um, your sister TOTALLY owes you coffee.