Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Conversations With A Three Year Old

I was able to recently spend about 2.5 weeks with my grandsons. Part of the time they were here and then I spent a week with them while my son-in-law was out of the country. I have determined that my oldest grandson, The Rock Star, is a motor mouth. He comes by it naturally. After all, his mommy never shut up and well, she might have gotten it from me. I'm told that my mom was also quite the conversationalist when she was little. So, it's a long line of DNA and that's just on one side of the family. Basically, if the Rock Star's eyes are open his mouth is moving. Some of the conversations are down right hilarious.

One morning I was getting him ready to go to visit his cousins. I told him that I had a hair appointment. This was the conversation that followed:

Rock Star: Gramma, why do you have to go do somping to your hair.
Me: Because I need to make myself beautiful.
Rock Star: But, gramma, you already are beautiful!
And that is why he will always be my favorite "oldest" grandson.
One day we went to visit his grandpa at work. Afterwards I asked him if he wanted to go to the mall to walk around and have some lunch. He said yes. When we got to the parking structure the following was heard from the backseat:

Rock Star: (attitude galore in his voice and muttered just audibly) This better be good.
Me: What better be good?
Rock Star: The Mall. (said like someone resigning them self to cleaning toilets with their toothbrush)
I laughed out loud. I couldn't help myself. I honestly thought I had a 13 year old in the backseat.
In the mornings, after he woke up, he would come and lay in bed with me. Usually it was too early for him to be up and making noise so I would turn on cartoons. He would watch and I would try and steal a few more minutes of sleep. One night he and his grandpa had slept in a tent in the family room. This is a common occurrence when he sleeps at our house. It is too cute to watch the two of them embark on an adventure right in the family room. Several trips ago, while sleeping in the tent, The Rock Star had a bad dream. He dreamt that a wolf was in the family room and it bit his hand. Ever since then he has had to make sure that there is no wolf in the family room. This particular morning when he came into my room the following conversation took place:

Me: Is Grandpa still asleep?
Rock Star: Nope, he is laying in his sweeping bag with the flashing light on.
Me: Why is he doing that?
Rock Star: He always watches for the woof when we sleep in the tent. He doesn't want it to get me.

When I was at his house there were several more adorable conversations. Sometimes I'm not even sure how his little brain thinks the way it does. The thought processes are beyond funny.

One of the days while I was visiting it was warm. My daughter noticed a trail of ants in the living room, just inside the door. She went to look for ant spray. The Rock Star instantly went into 'man of the house' mode. He carefully inspected the situation. Then he looked at me. I was sitting clear across the room. The following directions occurred:

Rock Star: Grandma, get EVERYTHING up on the couch so the ants can't pinch you!

I'm pretty sure I looked like I was hiding from a rodent, but I was certainly safe.

One morning he came downstairs and made the following statement:

"Grandma, Mom was a weird child."
One day I was curling my hair. I had half of it down so that I could curl it and the other half was standing straight up in the air with a clip in it. It looked a lot like a palm tree on top of my head. The Rock Star and I had the following conversation:

Me: Should I go out like this?

Rock Star: Yes

Me: Does my hair look good like this:

Rock Star: NO!!!

Typical man. He was going to let me make a fool of myself.

The Rock Star had pre- school one day and it was his day for show and tell. Fewer and fewer of his words are said incorrectly. When they are they are still so cute. I try to type them the way he says them. Like somping for something and woof for wolf etc. This particular day he came to show me what he was taking to school:

The Rock Star: Grandma, I'm taking my Terrible-dactyl to pea-school for show and tell.

He had to go to the pediatrician while I was visiting. While we were driving he asked his mom if he had to have a shot. She told him that she didn't think he did. A few moments went by and then this came from the back seat:

Rock Star: This is just not a good day. Am I having a bad hair day?
Then there is the magazine cover. My son-in-law receives a publication of Biblical Archeology Review. It had come in the mail and was laying on the kitchen counter. The Rock Star found it and was looking at the cover. On the cover were several statues. One of them was shown from the front and the other two or three from the back. These are old, biblical time statues. They are not wearing any clothes. Here is the conversation:

The Rock Star: Mom????

Mom: What?

The Rock Star: (very quietly) Look.....bums.

My daughter tried to explain to him that they weren't real people, but that they were statues. How do you explain a statue to a 3 year old? We are certain he thought his dad was receiving something totally dirty. My daughter can't wait until he tells the entire church about his daddy's magazines with 'bums.'
Last, but not least, is my favorite. We were driving and my daughter was telling me a story about a conversation she had had recently with my son-in-law.

My Daughter: And then Troy said that I was ornery.

The Rock Star: Who's horny?

Still laughing. Surprised we didn't get into an accident.

There is never a dull moment when The Rock Star is around. You have to watch everything that you say. He hears and repeats everything, but he sure can make you laugh.